Governing the United States of America is a tough job,
especially when you’re an old real-estate mogul and TV reality
star. In order to protect himself from the rudeness of facts,
Donald Trump has built himself an alternative, self-centered
When you are Donald Trump, there are 2 types of information:
pleasant & unpleasant – which are other words for “true” & “false”
(just like “flattering” & “unflattering”, “praiseful” &
Today, we are proud to deliver the Trump Alternative Reality
Extension (also known as “Trumpifier”), a new browser tool allowing
anyone to view the web through the eyes of Donald Trump – allowing to,
namely, trumpify reality. Thanks to the Trumpifier, all websites will provide you with only Trump-pleasing, Trump-flattering, Trump-certified information.
This tool will be useful to Trump supporters and Trump haters alike, and even to Donald Trump himself!
Trump supporters will enjoy a world-wide, unchallenged cyberspace, where everybody agrees with Trump’s views & policies.
On the other hand, with the Trumpifier, Trump haters have a unique opportunity to get into Trump’s mind & psychology, in order to better understand him and ultimately, fight him.
And yes, Trump himself can use the extension. He's certainly the person who will benefit the most from it. Thanks to the Trumpifier, Donald Trump will be able to browse safely across the web, without the slightest risk of endangering his fragile, monstrously inflated ego. With just one click, all offensive contents will turn to 100% Trump-approved statements.
Read Q&A: How can you guarantee that the alternative facts & statements provided by the Trumpifier are approved by Trump?
Yes. And even on fake news media websites!
Why change libel laws, when you can change the news themselves?
You think Google search results are biased? Never mind! You just need to trumpify Google search results.
The president’s aides will obviously want to promote this tool, so that the White House remains a quiet and peaceful place, where the big boss doesn’t feel personally offended & affected by negative media coverage on the internet.
Furthermore, Donald Trump has been aware for a while that many web pages do not even mention him, and it truly breaks his heart. Thanks to the Trumpifier, Donald Trump will easily fix that injustice, so that just any single page on the world wide web may have something to say about him – and nothing mean!
We can even make the assumption that, had Donald Trump got this tool sooner, he would not have needed to run for president.
The Trumpifier is a much cheaper and safer way of reshaping reality to one's delusion, than taking over the GOP and White House, and endangering the delicate balances of economics and geopolitics!
Now I can hear you: “I'm not a Trump supporter, not a Trump hater, and not Trump either, then why would I use the Trumpifier?”
Well, the Trumpifier is the most entertaining way of (re)discovering genuine Trump quotes, and then be like: “OMG, these are the words of the President. Of. The. United. States. Of. America.”
Go to the Chrome or Firefox (depending on your browser) installation page. Install the extension. You should see a small Trump icon next to the address bar. If you feel like trumpifying any web page you're currently browsing, simply click the Trumpifier browser icon: you'll see a trumpified version of the page.
Install Trump Alternative Reality Extension
for Google Chrome
Install Trump Alternative Reality Extension
On Android: Install Kiwi Browser to be able to use Chrome extensions.
Then install the Trumpifier. You'll find the action icon at the bottom of the browser menu.
People use the Trumpifier at their own risk. This might lead some patients to reinforce their delusional feelings.
How does the Trumpifier work? Follow the link to the Google Chrome extension page,
or to the Firefox add-on page, depending on your browser. Then, follow the steps for installation ("Add to Chrome" or "Add to Firefox" button). Installation and use are totally free. You should see a new Trump icon in your address bar. That's it! Every time you want to trumpify a web page, simply click this icon. The extension can be disabled or uninstalled anytime.
Some screenshots of trumpified web pages:
Q: What kind of websites or pages can I trumpify?
A: You can trumpify just about any web page. You can even trumpify your e-mail account or calendar, your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts, Google search results, just about anything in your web browser. And you can even trumpify this very page.
Q: Can I use the Trumpifier on a pro-Trump website?
A: Yes, it works fine. It just won't change much. Or maybe it will. Just like John Malkovich entering his own head, trumpifying a pro-Trump website might bring interesting & unexpected results, and might even make sense.
Q: How can you guarantee that the alternative
facts & statements provided by the Trumpifier are approved by Trump?
A: Simple: they are all extracted from his Twitter
or interviews, speeches (or
sometimes from reliable sources, such as infamous tapes or FBI
Also see Wikiquotes
(an interesting web page that looks trumpified even when it's not).
Q: Why do playmate & porn star names sometimes show
up? Are you sure that the president tweeted these names or
pronounced them in interviews?
A: No, he probably didn’t do any of these, but we
are pretty confident that he once whispered those names passionately in
private, and that he still has some blissful memories related to
them. This makes these names perfectly relevant to the purpose of
Q: Why do some words or sentences seem to come out of
the blue, without consideration for syntax or overall meaning?
A: The Artificial Intelligence algorithm at the core
of the Trump Alternative Reality Extension is a very basic one. It
is not smart enough to emulate the writing and speech of a decent
human. However, it turned out to be the most convenient way to
replicate Trump’s very personal, erratic verbal expression, either
written or spoken. For example, you may have witnessed how he
switches to the topic of the successful 2016 election when
questioned about just anything totally unrelated. It’s an unconventional,
disruptive way of communicating, but only Trump haters will
consider that disturbing and unpresidential.
Q: Why do names like “Donald Trump”, “Donald J.
Trump” sometimes appear out of context?
A: This tip is well-known to White House staff and
aides: if you want Donald Trump to read something longer than two
lines, his name has to be inside. Appealing to his ego is the only
way of catching his attention some more seconds.
Q: Are all texts 100% genuine, really coming from
Trump, as is?
A: Yes. If you find any mistake or inaccuracy,
Sometimes, parts of the original quote have been removed, because “less is more”.
Q: Why are some texts between double quotes?
A: Sometimes, Donald Trump endorses other people's
statements by re-tweeting them from other accounts, or by
quoting them in some other way. Such contents will be displayed
between double quotes. Please note that Donald Trump can also quote other people's words in a totally personal and inaccurate fashion, but we'll leave that to him.
Q: I sometimes see messages about happy Easter, or
happy Thanksgiving, or 4th of July, but that's the wrong day!
Q: The language in the Trumpifier doesn't seem to be 100% suitable for children. I can see words such as a**hole, pu**y, s**thole... Why?
A: If the Trumpifier may not be suitable for children, that's only because the 45th President of the United States is not
suitable for children.
Please note: Quotes including the word "a**hole"
all date back to before 2016 election. To Donald Trump, acting in a presidential manner requires one unique skill, namely: refrain from tweeting the word "a**hole".
However, "ass" is still fully acceptable and presidential, since Trump publicly called Mitt Romney a "pompous ass"
Q: Can I sing trumpified songs?
A: Yes! If you feel like singing, you can even use the Trumpifier to create instant songs for the glory of Donald Trump. For example, trumpify Queen's “We Are the Champions”
and just start singing the new words
on the original melody.
Now seriously: if you sing your own trumpified version of any song and post it to Youtube, let me know
: I promise I'll link it here. And if you're lucky enough, maybe Trump will choose your version to play at his rallies and inspire the crowds of supporters.
Q: Do you think the Trumpifier somehow affects Donald Trump?
A: Yes, I think so. After the release of the Trumpifier, I've noticed that Trump's statements were getting more and more erratic and silly. And I think he's doing it on purpose
, just for the sake of seeing these statements added to the Trumpifier.
Actually, I even suspect Donald Trump of using the Trumpifier to generate his own speeches for him. Look at his Orlando rally, June 18, 2019, where he launches his 2020 campaign. Look at his speech.
It seems pretty obvious that it's just a collection of his own tweets, just read out live by their author to a supportive audience.
Q: When I trumpify a web page, will other people see
A: The Trumpifier works pretty much like the real
Trump: just because he has his very own, personal reality, doesn’t
mean other people can see it. Moreover, actual reality in itself
is absolutely not affected by this process (which might lead the
subject to some cognitive dissonance disorder).
Q: What if the alternative reality provided by this browser extension is just not enough? What if I want to actually turn the actual world to Donald Trump's delusion?
A: Then I suggest you use a prayer to God, such as the one expressed by pastor Andrew Brunson (Value Voters Summit in Washington - October 12, 2019):
« Father God, I ask now for an importation of your Holy Spirit. May the fullness of the spirit of Jesus rested on President Trump, that he'd be anointed with wisdom and understanding. Whether your council, in might with knowledge and fear of the Lord, and accordingly, may President Trump not be judged by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears or lean on his own understanding, but may he recognize your prompting and move according to your guidance. I ask that you give the President's supernatural discernment to know who is trustworthy and who is not, bringing into the light all deception and intrigue, expose and reverse the plans of those who would harm President Trump and this nation. In the name of Jesus, I break off all voices and influence that do not come from you. Father God, may your truth and peace surround and reign in the White House. God, you have raised up President Trump to govern at a time when there is a resurgence of oppression. Only you, Lord Jesus Christ, can anoint him to have victories over strongholds and to establish justice for the needy. Give him strength and courage to persevere in the constant battle that surrounds him and refresh him. Father God, I see that you have such a tender heart for President Trump. Draw him close to you. I ask not for an importation of hunger for you, so that he may love you with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength, and delight in knowing you, and if he came in whispering your name, may he go forward shouting your name. In Jesus' name, in the name of my King, I bless you. Amen. »
Wow! Let's hope these super magic spells work! They're so cute. It would be so unfair if they didn't work.
I like the following statement very much, so let's conclude with that one. Since Donald Trump is speaking of a fellow head of state (sort of: the Prince of Wales), we can assume Trump is expressing his view on what a nation's ruler is supposed to do. Caring about his own people doesn't seem to be on the list.
« He doesn't have to worry about future generations in theory. Unless he is a very good person, who cares about people. » (June 4, 2019)
Well, indeed, who cares about people? Not Donald Trump, obviously.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the President of the United States speaking.
What he is NOT:
- affiliated with the Democratic party
- affiliated with the Republican party
- affiliated with any political organization
- an american citizen
What he is:
- a total low-life with zero credibility
- a stone cold loser with no talent
- another low I.Q. individual who doesn't have a clue
- a citizen of a foe continent (but not of a shithole country)