When you are Donald Trump, there are 2 types of information: pleasant & unpleasant – which are other words for “true” & “false” (just like “flattering” & “unflattering”, “praiseful” & “critical”).
Today, we are proud to deliver the Trump Alternative Reality Extension (also known as “Trumpifier”), a new browser tool allowing anyone to view the web through the eyes of Donald Trump – allowing to, namely, trumpify reality. Thanks to the Trumpifier, all websites will provide you with only Trump-pleasing, Trump-flattering, Trump-certified information.
This tool will be useful to Trump supporters and Trump haters alike, and even to Donald Trump himself!
Trump supporters will enjoy a world-wide, unchallenged cyberspace, where everybody agrees with Trump’s views & policies.
On the other hand, with the Trumpifier, Trump haters have a unique opportunity to get into Trump’s mind & psychology, in order to better understand him and ultimately, fight him.
And yes, Trump himself can use the extension. He's certainly the person who will benefit the most from it. Thanks to the Trumpifier, Donald Trump will be able to browse safely across the web, without the slightest risk of endangering his fragile, monstrously inflated ego. With just one click, all offensive contents will turn to 100% Trump-approved statements.
Read Q&A: How can you guarantee that the alternative facts & statements provided by the Trumpifier are approved by Trump?
Yes. And even on fake news media websites!
You think Google search results are biased? Never mind! You just need to trumpify Google search results.
The president’s aides will obviously want to promote this tool, so that the White House remains a quiet and peaceful place, where the big boss doesn’t feel personally offended & affected by negative media coverage on the internet.
Furthermore, Donald Trump has been aware for a while that many web pages do not even mention him, and it truly breaks his heart. Thanks to the Trumpifier, Donald Trump will easily fix that injustice, so that just any single page on the world wide web may have something to say about him – and nothing mean!
We can even make the assumption that, had Donald Trump got this tool sooner, he would not have needed to run for president.
Now I can hear you: “I'm not a Trump supporter, not a Trump hater, and not Trump either, then why would I use the Trumpifier?”
Well, the Trumpifier is the most entertaining way of (re)discovering genuine Trump quotes, and then be like: “OMG, these are the words of the President. Of. The. United. States. Of. America.”
Go to the Chrome or Firefox (depending on your browser) installation page. Install the extension. You should see a small Trump icon next to the address bar. If you feel like trumpifying any web page you're currently browsing, simply click the Trumpifier browser icon: you'll see a trumpified version of the page.
On Android: Install Kiwi Browser to be able to use Chrome extensions.
Then install the Trumpifier. You'll find the action icon at the bottom of the browser menu.
Disclaimer: People use the Trumpifier at their own risk. This might lead some patients to reinforce their delusional feelings.
How does the Trumpifier work? Follow the link to the Google Chrome extension page, or to the Firefox add-on page, depending on your browser. Then, follow the steps for installation ("Add to Chrome" or "Add to Firefox" button). Installation and use are totally free. You should see a new Trump icon in your address bar. That's it! Every time you want to trumpify a web page, simply click this icon. The extension can be disabled or uninstalled anytime.
Some screenshots of trumpified web pages:
A: Then I suggest you use a prayer to God, such as the one expressed by pastor Andrew Brunson (Value Voters Summit in Washington - October 12, 2019):
« Father God, I ask now for an importation of your Holy Spirit. May the fullness of the spirit of Jesus rested on President Trump, that he'd be anointed with wisdom and understanding. Whether your council, in might with knowledge and fear of the Lord, and accordingly, may President Trump not be judged by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears or lean on his own understanding, but may he recognize your prompting and move according to your guidance. I ask that you give the President's supernatural discernment to know who is trustworthy and who is not, bringing into the light all deception and intrigue, expose and reverse the plans of those who would harm President Trump and this nation. In the name of Jesus, I break off all voices and influence that do not come from you. Father God, may your truth and peace surround and reign in the White House. God, you have raised up President Trump to govern at a time when there is a resurgence of oppression. Only you, Lord Jesus Christ, can anoint him to have victories over strongholds and to establish justice for the needy. Give him strength and courage to persevere in the constant battle that surrounds him and refresh him. Father God, I see that you have such a tender heart for President Trump. Draw him close to you. I ask not for an importation of hunger for you, so that he may love you with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength, and delight in knowing you, and if he came in whispering your name, may he go forward shouting your name. In Jesus' name, in the name of my King, I bless you. Amen. »
Wow! Let's hope these super magic spells work! They're so cute. It would be so unfair if they didn't work.
I like the following statement very much, so let's conclude with that one. Since Donald Trump is speaking of a fellow head of state (sort of: the Prince of Wales), we can assume Trump is expressing his own view on what a nation's leader is supposed to do. Caring about his own people doesn't seem to be on the list.
« He doesn't have to worry about future generations in theory. Unless he is a very good person, who cares about people. » (June 4, 2019)
Well, indeed, who cares about people? Not Donald Trump, obviously.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the President of the United States speaking.